Being a mum….when I only had the two boys Josh and Owain I constantly got asked when we were going to try for another, when we felt we were ready and wanted to extend our family and have a third that’s when people started with “I hope it’s a girl”.
Bizarrely people and generally its people you don’t even know (strangers) seem to comment if you have one child or ten children, if you have one child “when are you going to give them a sibling?” or if you have ten children “do you know what a T.V is?” I find it very bizarre that strangers can ask these types of questions as if it something they are entitled to know and at times ask very bluntly without thought as to how this can make the mum in question feel.
I am a mum to five children and they are all boys, I constantly get people asking if we were trying for girl? Then there’s the damn rude ones of “your not having any more are you?” and my favourite, and yes I have been asked “do you know what contraception is?”. I don’t know why strangers in the street feel they can stop a family and ask these types of questions and get a reasonable answer.
Generally when asked any of the questions below I just smile, what they don’t know is I’m smiling because I’m thinking what I have written below. Sometimes the questions from strangers gets a bit too much though and I find myself saying exactly what is written. So for the mum’s out there that are trying to do food shopping with children hanging off them or just simply going for a walk, I thought I would write down some witty comebacks to those all so annoying stranger comments.
“You do know where babies come from?”
No, I must have missed that particular sex education class in school! Would you care to share your knowledge?
I mean come on seriously, I have 5 children I’m pretty sure I know how they are made if not before my first I had it all figured out by the third.
“Were they all planned?”
No, one morning I woke up and discovered I was pregnant, must have been that time I had unprotected sex or sat on the toilet seat after my husband.
I’m sure this type of question is fine coming from a friend but from a stranger in the middle of the street I feel it’s a bit to personal.
“Were you trying for a Boy/Girl?”
Actually I was trying for a bloody puppy!
As a mum to five boys I get this question a lot, normally when I’m trying to do a Morrison’s shop with all five boys in tow. From a stranger I find it very annoying from a friend not so much.
“Are they all yours?”
No, they are doing a deal today in Morrison’s buy one get one free in aisle nine only problem was they didn’t have any more left so I need to go back later for my free sixth child.
Who goes shopping with several children who aren’t their own? That’s just asking for stress on top of the added expense of items that get added to the shopping trolley by your little helpers.
“Your not having any more are you?”
Why, are you offering to come over to my house and help raise them with us?
I can understand how people are just curios but the amount of times I have been asked this exact question I can’t even recall.
“Do you know what contraception is?”
I’m not 100% sure; maybe you could explain it in detail for me?
This is one question that I never fully understand why someone would ask, surely we are all clued up enough to know all about the “birds and the bees” and contraception.
“You need to learn to say ‘no’ to your husband”
Actually he needs to learn to say ‘no’ to me as I’m the one that jumps his bones. Yep you heard right, he is the one that is trying to fend me off on a nightly basis.
Half of the time I don’t know why a total stranger would say something like this
“It must cost a future to feed so many children”
Not really, we find a feeding rota helps keep the cost down so we know whose turn it is to eat which meal.
Again I’m not sure why a total stranger needs to comment on how much we spend on feeding our children
I totally get how shocking it must seem to some when you see a mum/dad in the middle of a supermarket or street with X amount of children looking as if they are on a mini nursery trip but take a minute and think before you ask a question as no doubt that parent is already fully aware that people are looking and are busy making sure that their children are still right beside them, stopping a tantrum from happening before it even starts and engaging with their children before one gets board and all hell breaks loose.
I have found that if you have one child people generally want to know when you are going to give that child a sibling, cause they can’t be an only child. When you have two children of the same gender you need to try for boy/girl and if you have one of each you must be done having children. If you have three children you should have one more, you know make it an even number. If you have children of all the same gender you need to have another one as this time you might get a girl/boy.
It doesn’t matter if you have one child or ten children there is always something someone can say.
The above questions are questions I’ve been asked and sometimes multiple times a day, which is why they can be annoying to hear. A lot of the time a stranger can say something without thinking about how they have said it and generally don’t think before they speak.
Would I have liked a girl?….. Yes, of course I would have but in the same breath no I wouldn’t as that would mean I wouldn’t have one of my boys and I couldn’t change one of them not even for a girl!
Thanks for reading x