Just incase you didn’t read my previous post on ‘Mum Guilt’ I have added the link below…
So let me start with what I was expecting from my first time away on my own without the boys; I honestly thought I would be an emotional mess every time I spoke to them on the phone as on the plane just thinking of them tears would start threatening to fall, I thought the majority of my days would consist of wondering what they were up to and worrying incase they needed me for something, I expected my days to feel empty and to feel somewhat lost without being constantly occupied.
BUT that’s not how I felt!
I’m not going to lie the plane journey over to the U.K was hard, I have never experienced so many emotions all at once and until I arrived at my parents house down the South of England I did feel tearful and not to sure what I should be doing with my hands, it felt strange not pushing a stroller or holding a child’s hand and at one point I did end up putting my hands in my pockets just to stop fiddling with my hair or anything else I could fiddle with to keep my hands busy.
The days with my parents just seemed to roll into one and I found the days just disappeared, I think because I was constantly busy and everyday I had something different planned to do I didn’t really have the chance or opportunity to sit around constantly thinking about them, don’t get me wrong I did wonder if they were ok and what they were doing but I wasn’t sat there feeling overwhelmed and regretting having a “break” or “time away” which for me was a surprising feeling.
I was able to enjoy an afternoon tea with my mum and a day out shopping without toilet trips or feeling bad for dragging the children around shops which my boys never enjoy.
Speaking to the boys on the phone wasn’t as hard as I first thought it would have been either, they were just happy to talk and no-one got upset or begged me to come home which was a relief and did make the whole experience that little bit easier knowing that they were happy and managing without me as that was a big worry of mine, as I have always been there.
Whilst I was in the U.K and before flying back home I took the opportunity to meet up with a friend who I haven’t seen in just over 10 years, because we had already planned on meeting we had pre-booked booked a room in Paddington, London.
We stayed 3 days and 2 nights in London which wasn’t an awfully long time but we managed to fit in so much in such a small amount of time. We had an amazing afternoon tea at one of the hotels close by (I’m admitting I defiantly ate enough cake whilst back in the U.K) and watched a show called ‘Wicked’ in the Apollo Victoria Theatre which is the first time I had ever been to a show and I loved every minute of it, its something I would defiantly recommend to anyone if you have chance to see one.
Apart from a few bars we visited in our time spent in London we also did ‘The London Bridge Experience’ which is said to be the U.K’s scariest attraction and I can defiantly tell you that I was petrified the whole way round and clung on to a poor lad, I don’t think I have ever been so scared before in my life.
Before I knew It though my time in London and holiday had come to an end and the journey home began.
At the time if im being honest I didn’t want to come home not because I didn’t want to see the boys but because the time had gone so fast it didn’t feel like I had been away for more than a day and I didn’t want my time to end.
So as im writing this I have been home for 2 days and I feel completely different to when I first went away.
No longer do I feel tired or irritated by things that shouldn’t bother me instead I feel completely recharged, eager to get things around the house done and wanting to spend every second with the boys, not that I didn’t want to before but I was so tired that I couldn’t enjoy them as much as I wanted to which intern irritated me.
Would I go away again on my own? I wouldn’t think twice about it, there is nothing I didn’t enjoy about having some “me time” or a “break” the 100’s of emotions I felt in the first few hours of being away from them and the “mum guilt” that was so hard to come to terms with at the beginning was all worth the little break I had.
Thanks for reading x